How You Look So Pop Down

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Fashion & Beauty

Sunday, 28 February 2010 06:55

By KAM

Nails done, check. Hair done, check. Clothes clean and smelling good, check. These are just a few of the things you definitely would need to make sure are "saying one" before you step through your door and into the public domain.

If these basic things are not kept under check, then you have given someone the ammunition to ask, “How You Look So Pop Down?” This article is written for the women who ought to know that there are some fundamental rules that should be obeyed in terms of grooming and personal appearance.

For one ladies, shaving your armpits is not an option, it is a must. Listen, while men can easily get away with a forest growing under their arms, we women are not that lucky. How are you going to wear a sleeveless top and not shave the hair from under your arms? This is unacceptable and falls in the same category of uncouth behaviour. Have you ever seen a woman looking really put together, everything "safe," but when she decides to lift up her arms, it’s like an outrage! Wait… her armpits are not shaved??? Oh dear, it is most disturbing. So please, please never leave your house in that condition. Always check and double check. Even if the hair is very low, once it’s visible to the naked eye and could get a caution flag raised, just brush it up with a shaving razor. Having underarm hair is not just unpleasant to look at, but it can be considered unhealthy to you and those around you, especially if you perspire a lot…lol.

It’s bad enough that you have unshaved armpits, but ladies, overgrown eyebrows are a cardinal sin. You can’t manage fi look suh pop down man. The very face that people have to stare in, especially the opposite sex, needs be groomed and maintained at least at an acceptable level. Pluck, wax, or shave those eyebrows; it's not that expensive. Although waxing might be a little costly, it lasts. So you might not need a wax for the next month. You can pluck them yourself too, which will save you a buck, and going to a barber shop is not expensive. So if you have so many options, why the excuses? And while you're at it, please pluck those outlandish strands of hair growing on your upper lip, chest and under your chin, Jack. I know they grow fast but you have to try and keep up with them. Stop looking so pop down. Spruce up yuhself!

Apparently, seeing hair in places where it is not supposed to be on an adult woman parading the streets is a no-no. It is not cool to wear a mini shirt with hair sticking out on your legs begging to be shaved. Do you know how attractive it is to have fresh, well-shaved legs? Also, only a few women can get away with the patchy-patchy shave after the Nair did not work how it was supposed to. I can definitely relate to almost all Nair incidents. But if that happens, you need a backup plan. Make sure you always have a shaving razor close by, because these three-minute hair removers are unpredictable.

If I were to create the 10 commandments of things women should never ever, ever, ever do, top of the list would be wearing powder on their necks. Although I am no expert, I can spot right from wrong, and that is an absolute wrong. It is a capital offence! Now, you are dark, but why is your neck white, white, white like snow? It is GHETTO, and not even remotely close to being tolerable. When I see these young girls with their powdered necks, I just wanna grab dem and wipe off the powder. How you fi lef yuh house and go pan street so? I can only leave it to ignorance. But even if you tell them that it is ghetto, they still don’t care. Do men love to see these white neck girls? I have not a clue. I am trying my best not to be hypocritical because if I were to think way way back, I could have been guilty too. But I realize it is tacky. I guess we might have to leave them alone so they can grow out of it then. However, if you are a grown woman and you still wear powder on your neck in public then… lawd a mercy there is no hope there.

I am very much aware of the many different skin types, including dry skin. Nonetheless, there is no justifiable reason for ashy ankles and elbows. When you step out, you need to step out in style. If you are in a hurry and depending on the type of shoes you are wearing, you might be able to get away with dry feet. But “ano every day a Christmas”. This means some days you won’t be so lucky to be spared the constant staring and jeering at your dry scratched up dry feet. While we are on feet, I always think it is best to leave your toenails natural rather than wear open toe shoes to expose the chipped up nail polish on your toes. No no no. It is even worse when you put on three layers of cutex on your toenails when it now hits you that the polish is horridly chipped [heavy sigh]. You need to remove that coat of cutex pronto before you apply any more. Then again it doesn’t make much sense getting only your toenails polished when you know and we know too that you seriously need a pedicure. It is just unsettling.

Whether you have perm hair, braids or locks, you need to always make sure that you hair is well-kept. But why people need fi tell people fi fix them hair though? You should just know and fix it, right? Even if you might not have the money right away, do something with it nuh? How long has it really been since you got a perm, because the new growths are screaming out. And ladies who subscribe to the Afro-centric look, you need fi wash you locks dem. Clean styled locks are really attractive and I know that’s one of the main reasons you got your hair ras in the first place, so just follow through to the end nuh man…Jeez. Ladies wearing braids, tsk* tsk* tsk*, when it's time to take out those braids please do not fight it. Take them out and stop being stingy, the hairdresser need fi eat food too.

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Look back around a year or two ago, ahhh, remember how you use to look rosy and toned? What the heck happened? I for one have not been keeping myself as toned and I used to be like two years or so ago. But you can’t let yourself go for too long. The longer you take to get that extra bulge around your waist down, the harder it gets. Of course, gaining weight is a natural phenomenon, who doesn’t know this, but since you did not just have a baby last year, why have you gotten so big? Stay on top of your weight by eating healthy, exercise, or go to the gym. Most importantly, get some sleep nuh. You look the same way going to bed as you did this morning more than two hours after you have woken up. Lethargy is not sexy, so you can’t possibly look so pop down.

After you have read and digested the contents of this article, ladies we need not repeat those cardinal sins. Before you touch the road, go over the checklist. Armpits, checked; hair, checked; eyebrows, checked; skin, checked; sexiness, checked; go through the entire list because you can never ever be caught in a position where someone has to ask you, “How You Look So Pop Down?”

Boomchild is a weekly column written specifically for the young audience. To submit comments on this article, give notes on next week’s topic “No Money of My Phone” and suggest future topics please email KAM at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

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