Exams Bleeps and Blunders

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Saturday, 18 September 2010 15:01

By Best Test Paper Blunders by Richard Benson

No matter how far our exams are dumbed down, it seems it's not far enough for today's pupils. But rather than admit defeat in the face of tricky questions, some decide to take a more creative approach to their answers.

After scouring exam papers and speaking to teachers, humorist Richard Benson has collected the worst student howlers in a new book.

You won't know whether to laugh - or cry.

What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
Unusual names.

What was Sir Walter Raleigh famous for?
He is a noted figure in history because he invented cigarettes and started a craze for bicycles.

Name onr of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Learning to speak Latin.

Name one measure which can put into place to avoid flooding in times of extensive rainfall (e.g. in Mississippi).
Flooding in areas such as the Mississippi may be avoided by placing a number of big domes into the river.

Name six animals that live specifically in the Arctic.
Two Polar bears
Four Seals

How does Romeo's character develop throughout the play?
It doesn't, it's just self, self, self, all the way through.

Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.

What happens during puberty to a boy?
He says goodbye to his childhood enters adultery.

What is the meaning of the word 'varicose' ?
Close by

What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
Mariah Cary

Explain the phrase 'free press'
When your mum irons trousers for you.

Why would living close to a mobile phone mast cause ill health?
You might walk into it.

Joan works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand-alone computer system?
It doesn't come with a chair.

Give a reason why people would want to live near power lines.
You get your electricity faster.

Expand 2(x+y)
2 (x+y)
2 ( x + y )
2  (  x  +  y  )

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The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
Malaria

Taken from F In Exams: The Best Test Paper Blunders by Richard Benson (Summersdale Publishers, £5.99)

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